Issue 27 - Saradomin Enlightens

Greetings once again, my children!
I have recently been observing events upon these lands, and it seems a great evil is amassing its forces... I can only hope that you, my followers, have the bravery and wit to defend yourselves and your homelands and spread peace in my name through the chaos.

But let us not dwell on such disheartening matters, for this is not why I have returned to you. Let us instead look at what queries mine followers have sought response to this time!

It matters not in particular how you mentally pronounce our names, for the deity of your choice will always know which of their missives are meant for them, but to answer your question with the closest possible pronunciations;

Guh-thicks
Sa-ra-dome-in
Zam-oh-rack

I hope I have brought you enlightenment through pronunciation.

As for your confusion over the learning rate of magic, magic now works slightly differently.
Whereas before it was entirely possible to fail a spell and gain no experience for it at all, now you will find that should your spell fail to inflict damage, you will still learn from your mistake in casting and gain further knowledge in spellcasting (or 'experience' as it is known) regardless of your success or failure.
You are also no longer restricted from spellcasting for twenty seconds upon failure...

Hazeel was one of those accursed creatures of the mahjarrat, cousins of the foul Zamorak, and was an evil warlord who dominated a region in the area now known as Ardougne with his unholy magics.
The valiant townsfolk of Ardougne managed to overthrow his oppression under the banner of the valiant ancestor of Cyril Carnillean, who was rewarded by the rest of the townsfolk with the property where the malignant Hazeel had once lived. Unfortunately, an evil such as Hazeel, and the rest of his mahjarrat ilk, is not so easy to kill as the townsfolk had believed, and it seems that his demise was not permanent.

As for my combat level, I would not have such a thing were I to deign this world with my presence once again, for my powers are not limited in such a way as a mortals may be.

Why, you have found the most truthful source in this world already - myself!
Had you read some of my previous epistles, you would have discovered this handy little shortcut past the awe-inspiring white wolf mountain already, for I had spread this wisdom before, way back in the seventeenth edition of the letters!

Remember, my wisdom is glorious, but it is not often repeated...

Ah, another mortal who squanders their alloted time with myself with simple riddles...

To answer your question, my time is filled with watching benevolently over mine followers and using what small amounts of power I may put into play on this world in aiding the worthy in their prayers.
And the odd game of Runelink with Guthix.

The mages blessed with the knowledge of the oft-fabled rune essence are as follows:
Sedridor, head of the wizards tower
Aubrey, owner of the mages shop in Varrock
Brimstail, the gnome wizard
Distentor, the head of the Yanille magic guild
Wizard Cromperty, the experimental teleporter in Ardougne

There are others too, of course, but I may not reveal their names, for some wish to keep their ties to the wizards tower secret for their own reasons, and some I will not name, for the evil purpose which they have chosen to put their knowledge to.

As for the zombies, I have noticed of late that it has become slightly more risky to honour me in the burying of bones - I fear this is a malignant trick by the cursed Zamorak to sway people from my path, but it shall not work!

Some things mortals are not meant to know, but do not consider the secret events surrounding the god wars to be a thing withheld from my followers through a lack of worthiness to possess such knowledge; I will not give you fuller details for your own protection.
I will only answer in generalities, for words have power, and certain words when spoken are a dangerous power indeed. All of the deities currently in this realm, and some who now are no longer with us, were involved in the war. Each took a faction, whether their own, or choosing to side with one of the stronger factions, until the only factions left were mine own and those supporting the hateful Zamorak.

It was as things were building to a crescendo that the ancient guthix, who had been unknown to us previously, stepped in and banished our combat from the lands. Sadly this has meant many of the issues over which we fought remain unfulfilled, but I blame not guthix for his untimely intervention.
If he had not interfered in our squabbles it is likely this world would have been scarred beyond repair, and I wish not for innocence to be the casualty of our war.

Evil must be destroyed in all of its forms, not mollycoddled and allowed to spread.
Should Guthix have his way, he would allow the evil Zamorakians free reign within my lands, spreading their forces like a cancer until they were ingrained so deeply, that to remove them would destroy the world.

I will never permit such an abomination to occur on these lands, for I cannot suffer such evil to live on. Only through purification can we cleanse this world of all evil, and live in the utopia which my order offers, yet foolish Guthix cannot see how my path is the only true way this world may flourish!

Certainly!

What exactly do Toy Horses do?

1) Much of this 'destruction' you speak of is merely the effects of time upon such an ancient and noble city as Falador. Often, large bustling cities need continuous repair work just to keep them from descending any further into decay, and as building methods improve, often labourers are called in to provide a degree of refurbishment.

2) The fearsome Vannaka is one of the strongest warriors to ever grace this world, and as such he has the power to wield what would normally be considered to be a two handed sword single-handedly.
This is a strength that most mortals do not posess, and it adds to his fearsome reputation as a great swordsman. It is somewhat of a pity that his glory days are behind him, and his self-imposed exile to tutorial island is in place, for I would deeply desire to see him overcome his shame for his past actions, and take up his place at the vanguard of my holy warriors once again.

Perhaps the best we may see of him is his current role as Slayer Master and Combat Instructor, although I suspect his thirst for adventure may bring him back for one last battle, so that he may end his days in glory...

3) The shield Vannaka wields is the mighty Square Shield of the Dragon, an ancient and powerful artifact possessed only by a few members of this world lucky enough to have found one. He has earnt the right to wield it many times over, and it is something of a trophy for him of past glories.

4) The armour worn by the White Knights is of a special custom made equipment, that is not freely available, for it marks membership of my glorious order of the White Knights. Only those chosen specifically to become a member of the order are permitted to wear such armour, and at this moment no players may join this order as anything other than a freelance operative, and as such may not wear the armour.
I suspect the accursed Kinshra have a similar system in place, though my knowledge of such evil workings is limited.

5) For your own continued good health, I implore you to drop this subject. Speak that name no more, and trouble not your mind with such thoughts.

6) As the wheel of time slowly turns onwards, you may find such a thing occurs, but it will not be soon and it will not be often...

7) My hair is one of my most distinguished features, and as there is no god of hairdressing, I will not permit a lowly mortal to touch my blessed locks. So no.

Armadyl is one of my noble brethren, although we differ on minor points and his interests lie elsewhere.
The last time I spoke to him, he was focussing primarily on the followers of Ikov and how best to assist them, but the theft of one of his artifacts has greatly damaged his reputation, although he is in fine physical health.

Thrandor has taken a well earned holiday to parts unknown, for he believed his services were no longer needed in Varrock, and issued his resignation to King Roald at short notice.
It seems there is some small desire to see his position filled once more though, so perhaps the council will be able to track him down and offer him his old job back, possibly with a pay rise and increased benefits package.

Zemouregal is a creature no less evil than zamorak, who works in concert with him, yet the two are distinct.
Zamorak is the only Mahjarrat who has plagued my followers with the powers of a god, the others are but mortal. Incredibly evil, long lived and powerful mortals perhaps, but mortal none the less.

It's just a cat...

Ah.... a popular misconception.

All gods of this realm have been bound by the treaty issued by Guthix not to directly interfere with the matters of mortals, nor to make our presence felt upon the land.
The being you speak of is not myself, it is rather one of your fellow citizens who has taken my name in honour of my glory - so too with the beings known as Guthix and Zamorak who appear not in the high scores, for they are followers who bored of honouring their deity before reaching level 30 in any skills...

I suggest you look harder young miner, for I happen to know that both Mithril and Adamantite have their place within the Dwarven tunnels...

And so my time with you all draws to a close once again.
I leave you with the knowledge that should you have questions begging to be answered within your mind, and within your heart, then you may always turn to Saradomin, and let my wisdom shine upon you like the sun on a warm summer day. And so, until next time we meet,

Strength through wisdom,
Saradomin

DISCLAIMER: The views of Saradomin do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it's employees. We tried to stop him saying anything controversial, but he is a god.