RuneScape Forums

Hey all! I'm WizardStar, and this is my first thread here. Please post, as I'd like to know what you think of my story and where I could improve. I'm not going to bother posting rules, because their exactly the same from one story to the next -- you might as well read the rules on some other thread.

Contents:
Post2-5: Chapter 1
Post5-8: Chapter 2
Post8-12: Chapter 3
Post12: Epilogue

As a little summary, this is the story of an average family in RuneScape who get turned adventurer by a maniac named Wizard2878. Enjoy!

Story finished!

----Chapter 1----

Living in RuneScape is not was you think.

You think that it�s a mystical land of adventure. You think that it�s about defeating the mightiest of monsters and unraveling the best quests in MMORPG history. You think it�s about making friends and getting rich. In truth, it�s nothing nearly as spectacular.

RuneScape is a world. People live in it. Sure, the fact that zombies have overrun the sewers and genetically modified spiders and rats have infested the forests might be slightly unsettling, or for the brave exciting, but obviously people have to get over it. And so, living in RuneScape, you have two choices: you can choose to risk your life on a daily basis simply as a means of getting a workout, or you can go to the gym. You could do monkey bars over a boiling pit of lava so your flexibility improves, or you could do yoga. You could help every damsel in distress you see passing by, or you could give them a few coins and shuffle away. Basically, you could be insane or sane.

Obviously, most people choose the latter option.

This is the story of a sane person named Generico, his wife Generica, and an insane adventurer named Wizard2878 who thrusts them into the world of the former option. This is the story of a citizen of RuneScape�s worst nightmare.

Generico HATED his name. So did Generica, which probably strengthened their relationship. The chances were their parents hated Generico and Generica�s names too, as giving them those names had shunned them from society. But then, their parents couldn�t help themselves. Generica�s dad and Generico�s mom were adventurers, and it seems to be traditional for adventurers to think of the worst names possible, usually including the odd and revolting addition of numbers into names. In fact, considering names some adventurers have been known to claim, the couple could�ve had it much worse.

The two lived in a small house in Varrock. You might be wondering which house it is, for being an insane adventurer, you probably think there�s only about 50 houses in Varrock. I give you this answer: look closer. Anyway, their house is made of the same generic stone as all the others in the area, and aside from a few oddly placed windows for the sake of originality, it looked more or less the same as the next house. It only had one true room, with a separate bathroom. Oh yes, insane person, RuneScape has bathrooms. Yet again: look closer. With a table in the middle, a fire to the right, door to the front, kitchen to the left, bathroom to the back and ceiling to the up, one look and you�d know everything about this small house. Which is why this paragraph will abruptly end.

Generico sipped a cup of tea while reading the paper. �Well would you look at that!� he said, loud enough for Generica to hear, �Jagex is making the Second Amendment to Constitution: some new armor around level 50��

�You shouldn�t read the adventurer�s section, dear,� Generica called from the kitchen side as she brought out some bread and cheese for breakfast. Generica sometimes got the feeling that something in Generico was unusually adventurer-like. Even more disturbing was when she got the same feeling about herself.

Generico sighed slightly. �I know,� he said, and moved on to the next article: Where Does Your Tea Come From? Interested, he read on:

Studies have shown that in the upper-world Earth, tea comes from an area known as Asia. Coincidentally, there is no equivalent of an Asia-like area in RuneScape. This has led to the question as to where tea actually comes from in RuneScape. When asked the tea providers, they simply say �from our suppliers.� When asking the said suppliers, they say �from the manufacturers.� Asking the manufacturers, they replied �from the harvesters.� At this point our team gave up and moved on.

Generico looked thoughtfully at his tea for a while before putting down the paper. Then, just as he was about to bite into breakfast, a knock came at the door. �I�ll get it,� Generico muttered, a bit angry with whoever it was � and who was it, anyway?

As soon as Generico opened the door, he got his answer. The figure stood out. She was covered in armor for Guthix knows why � and fine armor it was too. The helmet was shining white, and had wings on the side that made the helmet look like it would fly off at any point in disgust at its lower neighbors. For on her chest was a body that seemed dark, strong, and green (just like broccoli!). She wore a skirt that could only have been made from the mythical armor dragon, and in her hands she held a cruel-looking whip and a square shield made from the same awe-inspiring dragon.

�Bloody adventurer,� Generico muttered under his breath.

�Hello,� the adventurer said, �I�m Wizard2878.�

�I�m Generico,� Generico said bluntly. His brain was off trying to find a way to get rid of this Wizard2878, so his mouth was on auto-pilot.

�Do you have any quests for me?� Wizard2878 asked.

Generico�s brain snapped to attention, and at the sound of that remark Generica came over as well. �Yes, we do have a quest for you,� she said, �Go away so we can finish our meal!�

Wizard2878 looked sad. �Are you sure?� she said hopefully.

�Look,� Generico said, �We�re just your average people with a low-pay job, a small uninteresting house, a social life of two friends, and a travel range of about a mile. To put it bluntly, our lives are boring. We have nothing for you to do. So go away.�

�You�re bored?� Wizard2878 said gleefully, ignoring the rest of Generico�s statement, �I can fix that!�

�Oh, no," Generica half whispered, half wimpered.

�Yeah� I�ve been getting my Magic up!� Wizard2878 said, and with the flick of her hands, the couple were flying through the air with a swirl of magic around them.

�Ahhhh!!� Generico screamed as he shot straight up, turned abruptly south, and shot forward again, all the while incased in a purplish haze. Next to him he could make out another haze, and through that he could just barely make out the shape of his wife. Then, right behind them, another haze came up.

Then Generico stopped. That is, he stopped a mile up into the air. Then, as he realized he was afraid of heights, he was turned right side up on his feet, and sent flying down a breakneck speed for the ground. Just as he thought he was going to resemble their culinary-talent-challenged neighbor�s dinner, he slowed down, and his wobbly feet touched the ground. He fell over and puked to the side.

Just then, Generica landed right on top of him and puked on the other side. A few minutes later, Wizard2878 landed right on top of them, lost her balance, and fell right into their puke piles.

�You get what you deserve,� Generico mumbled.

When the three had recovered and were standing up, Generica asked the obvious question: �What the hell did you just do?�

�I teleported you,� Wizard2878 said with a smile, �Welcome to Lumbridge!�

----Chapter 2----

�Lumbridge?� Generico and Generica said together.

�Yep,� Wizard2878 said, beaming, �do you like it?�

The two couldn�t respond to this question yet. It was one of those questions that simply couldn�t be answered due to it being so stupid, such as *Hey, that starved alligator is coming straight towards us � do you notice a black spot on its tooth?� Instead, they mindlessly looked around in an attempt to answer the question truthfully.

They had come right in front of the Lumbridge castle. It wasn�t nearly as large as the Varrock palace, Generico thought with an internal sniff, but it was magnificent nonetheless. The area was empty, aside from a few adventurers babbling to another � which made sense. After all, why would any sane person hang out in front of the castle? Not only would their every move be closely marked by guards, there was simply nothing to do but walk around aimlessly.

The castle was surrounded by a tall wall with one large entrance gate. There were two beautiful, but plain, fountains on either side of them. One of these had become significantly less beautiful after Wizard2878 cleaned off in it.

�Well,� Generico said at last, "it certainly is� big.�

�Oh, yes,� Generica agreed, �very big indeed.� With the answering of the stupid question out of the way, the two unfortunate travelers snapped back to their senses. �Now bring us back to Varrock!� Generica shouted.

�Uh� sorry about that,� Wizard2878 said, �I can�t teleport you back to Varrock,�

�Why not?" Generico asked, but inside he was secretly happy that he did*�t have to go through the whole process again.

Wizard2878 took out a large book, and quickly flipped through its pages. �I don�t have a tele-other to Varrock here��

�Well,� Generica said, ignoring their host�s strange actions, �We�ll be right on our way back then, good-bye!� She and her husband walked out as far as the gate into the wall before looking back. Wizard2878 was still standing there, looking at them. Generica took a deep breath. �Okay,� she said, �We have no idea how to get back� can you�� she choked on the next word.

��Help us?� Generico finished for her.

�Yippee!" cried Wizard2878, jumping in the air and racing after them, �A quest!�

�Whatever�� Generico muttered, as they walked out, following Wizard2878, and praying to Guthix that nothing else bad will happen. He was sadly mistaken. The first bad thing happened about five minutes later.

The trio were walking along, admiring Lumbridge, when suddenly Wizard2878 lunged forward, and with a crack of her whip, a random man fell dead.

�Holy crap!� Generic(o) cried, �What the hell did you do that for?�

�I don�t know,� Wizard2878 said guiltily, �I felt like it, I guess? Don�t worry; he�ll respawn in a few seconds.�

They waited a short time, and soon another man came walking along. �See?" Wizard2878 said.

�That�s a different person you idiot!� Generica cried.

Wizard2878 ignored this remark and continued onwards. From then on the couple stayed a couple feet farther away from their guide at all times.


By now they had left Lumbridge, and were following a well-trodden path past some fields. One of the first ones they came to gave them some troubles.

�Oh!!!� Wizard2878 cried as she opened the gate to the field, �cabbages!!!�

�Oh, Guthix�� Generico sighed before shouting, �Get out of there! Who knows who owns that!�

�Mwhy does* it mash*er?� asked Wizard2878 through a mouthful of cabbage.

As if to answer her question, a farmer with his pitchfork came up to Wizard2878 right at that moment. �Oi!� he cried, �Get out o� me cabbages!�

�Oh, a fahmah!� Wizard2878 said happily, then swallowed before continuing, �I always wanted to ask you, why are you the only people in RuneScape with an accent?�

�Oh I don�t have an accent, I�m just impersonating,� the farmer said, before fruitlessly poking Wizard2878�s armor with his pitchfork.

�Run!� Generic(o) cried at the farmer, and the farmer, seeing Wizard2878�s reaction with her whip, followed his advice. Luckily, Wizard2878 was weighed down by all her armor and the farmer got away. Wizard2878 came back pouting.

As they walked along the path, the scenery changed from rolling fields to light woodland. They made good progress, despite Wizard2878�s urge to occasionally chop down a tree and light the logs on fire. They talked little, or at least Generico and Generica responded little.

Wizard2878 babbled about things they did*�t care about and could barely understand, usually involving levels and skills. There was one piece of information that they did not understand, but listened and acted accordingly anyway:

�You know,� Wizard2878 said, �I�m a guy IRL.�

Generico and Generica did not respond.

�Yeah, I just became a girl because the plateskirt is sooo much cheaper than the legs. So really, you should start saying �he� and �his� when referring to me.�

Okay, I admit, I just threw that in there so I did*�t have to keep using �she� and �her� simply because Generico and Generica thought he was a girl. Anyhow, a couple days of traveling later, something happened at a cross-way between paths. As they came across a signpost labeling directions, a shadowy figure came out from the forests with a sword.

�Stand and del�� the highwayman began, before Wizard2878 slashed his whip down the highwayman�s chest, causing him to drop dead.

�Anyway,� Wiard2878 said, looking at the sign, �Varrock should be� north.�

As the days drew on, Generico was increasingly worried. It seemed to him that what he caught of the ground below as he was teleported down to Lumbridge did not match up at all with what he was seeing now. At last he could take it no longer.

�You�re lost, aren�t you?� He said to Wizard2878 in an accusing voice.

�Well, of COURSE I�m lost!� Wizard2878 said, �Hey look, up ahead! Falador!�

----Chapter 3----

Generico and Generica gaped at the large stone wall ahead. It was HUGE. And, more amazingly to those who have seen it, it was WHITE. A BLINDING white. It was as if the sunbeams that fell on it stayed a while, got drunk, couldn�t remember where they were the next day, then decided to all come out at once, right into a person�s eyes. Generico felt as if he could close his eyes and still see. He even tried this to see if he could make his way better, but it did*�t work. Generica simply walked backwards.

�See,* Wizard2878 said, �this is where the advantage of wearing a helmet comes in.�

After recovering from the initial shock, Generica�s angry kettle began boiling again. �I thought you said you were taking us to Varrock!�

�So did I,� Wizard2878 said with a frown.

Generico sighed. �You�re not very bright, are you?�

�Hey,� Wizard2878 said defensively, �If you had done as much adventuring as I have, hour after hour, day after day, you would be missing some IQ too!�

Generico was slightly taken aback at this, but he did*�t know why. Eventually he realized that it was the first thing Wizard2878 ever said that made some sort of sense.

However, he did*�t have much time to ponder this, as he was currently entering Falador. And the first thing he realized was that the walls were just the start of it.

Whitewash, everywhere! White white white white white! Nothing but it! The ground seemed black in comparison. The buildings must have had a foot-thick layer of white paint. There were enough white picket fences to keep a hundred Tom Sawyer�s painting! If the term �tone it down� ever reached the mind of a Faladorian painter, his mind must have been fried before the thought finished processing.

Generico and Generico followed Wizard2878 as if in a trance, their eyes having a desperate conversation with their brains:

�I�m telling you, there�s nothing but white and black!�

�That�s impossible! You have three color sensors along with a black and white one. There has to be some color!�

�There isn�t! If my reds, blues, and greens are working, they�re not finding anything!�

The effect of that this internal argument was that the lost couple�s visions kept switching from a rainbow of colors, when the brain took over, to the blinding whiteness, when the eyes talked some sense into the brain. Eventually this stopped, however, as Wizard2878 led them to the magnificent Falador park � and at last the brain could be satisfied with seeing some green.

�Well then,� Generico said, as if to shake himself, �How do we get back to Varrock?�

In response, Wizard2878 took out a long scroll from his bag. He unrolled it, revealing it to be a map of RuneScape. �Well,� he said, �We are here �� he pointed to a spot on the map, ��and we need to get here, via this path.�

�Wait,� Generica said, �You had that all along? Why did*�t you use it before?!�

Wizard2878 looked a bit ashamed. *I did*�t think I�d need it. Also, I think being around you guys is clearing up my head a little bit��

�Well that�s good.� Generico remarked, and then added slowly, �To be honest* I think being around you is making me a bit more adventurer-like. I�m actually starting to enjoy seeing all these places.�

�Well,� Generica replied, �That means the sooner we�re back in Varrock, the better � for all of us.�

With those words they got up from the park bench and walked over to the main square, and out and magnificent gates. These gates were magnificent simply because they were not white, which, in Falador, made everything better. As they went out, Wizard2878 ran up to one of the guards, lunged � then decided to simply half-heartedly crack his whip before running to catch up with the others.

The walk back along the path to Varrock took three days. For the most part, it was uneventful. However, the personalities began changing as they walked. Generico and Generica began talking back to Wizard2878 now, and Wizard2878 himself was beginning to make more sense, remarking on the pleasant scenery and asking about the couple�s lives instead of mumbling about various skills and quests. There was one final hurdle, however, before the group could finally make it back: Barbarian Village.